i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
