Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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