He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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