this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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