I wannas sexs uuuuu
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
