this beer tastes like vomit already
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
