Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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