Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
