I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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