We named our party play list daddy issues
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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