White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think a kid would responsible me up
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
