im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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