How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
