Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
