This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I wish there were birth control emojis
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
