in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
