Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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