Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
