i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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