He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Randomize
