I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
