The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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