So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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