no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
