we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
