i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
