we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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