she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
