yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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