that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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