Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
