yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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