lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
