Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
