Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You ate ashes out of my bong
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
