i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
