apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
