the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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