Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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