the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
