Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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