Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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