what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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