Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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