Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
