I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
