"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
