I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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