I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
