The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
