I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
