I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
