Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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